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Page 2

Gerri was on cloud nine as she left her last final. There had been only one question that she was unsure about. She had asked her professor about that question after the test, and her answer had been correct. This was the test that she had snuck into the library to study for, so Mrs. Blakely’s help had been valuable.

  Beyond this test, and the ‘A’ that she now knew she would get in the course, there was the fact that her college work was over. It was hard to believe; her four years in college had gone by so quickly.

  Of course, she wasn’t kidding herself that life would be effortless from here on. Local schools had budget problems, and the process of racially integrating them, which was just getting started in South Carolina, promised to be stressful, to say the least. Simply put: Gerri might not get hired at all. And even if she did, the likelihood was that she would be assigned to remedial classes or to middle school—all of the interesting high school math courses would be reserved for the white teachers. But in Gerri’s present mood, those problems were somewhere in the hazy future. She was in no mood to let such thoughts spoil her day.

  Suddenly, her step—and her mood—faltered. Speak of spoiling my day… Standing on the sidewalk outside her classroom building—and obviously waiting for her—was Thurman. With him, looking somewhat uncomfortable, was Claude.

  She remembered her vow. “Hello, guys,” she said without stopping.

  Thurman didn’t let her get away that easily. “You look happy,” he said. “How’d your last exam go?” The two guys fell into step beside her as she walked.

  “I am happy. It went well.” Thurman is so predictable. She waited resignedly for the other shoe to drop. It was not long in coming.

  “Good, good. I’m glad for you,” he said with exaggerated joviality. “I got an extension on my paper. It’s due in two days”

  Gerri glanced at Claude before she answered. Was that a sympathetic look? She wanted to scream at Thurman for the gall of his obvious hint, but she held her tongue while she forced herself to calm down. Finally, as Thurman was about to speak, she answered—ignoring the hint. “Will that be enough time for you to get it done?”

  He chuckled nervously. “Well, if we work as a team the way we usually do, I think we’ll be good.”

  This was it, then. She schooled herself to show no anger. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Thurman. I’ve been thinking that you’re leaning on me too much. I think I’ll let you handle this one yourself.”

  “Don’t say that, Baby. This’ll be the last one before we graduate. We’ve come too far for you to back out now.”

  She just shook her head.

  Claude spoke as Thurman was about to raise his voice. “I can’t believe you, Gerri. You’re not even going to give a brother a break?”

  She looked at him. Any imagined sympathy was gone, as he wore an accusing expression. She knew that she could probably win his sympathy back if she explained herself, but she refused to do that. With just a quick, rueful smile to hide her anger, she looked Claude in the eye. “Now might not be the best time for Thurman, and I’m sorry about that, but I should have done this years ago.”

  Thurman erupted. “How could you betray… You’ve got a nerve. I…I just can’t believe this.”

  Gerri just watched him as he sputtered. She felt as though she could almost read his mind. She could see him realize that any talk about betrayal would come back at him when Gerri found out about Carlotta. And she would have found out. If he hadn’t told her himself, it would have come out when they talked about their future plans. So, as he swallowed his talk of betrayal, she realized bitterly that he would soon see the opportunity that this offered him.

  Thurman stopped and took a deep breath. Gerri glanced again at Claude. He was glaring at her. That shook her resolve—but it didn’t break it.

  “OK,” Thurman finally said, in a calmer voice, “If you leave me hanging like this, then we’re through. I’ll find someone who’s more loyal.”

  There! He found it—the opportunity to break up without mentioning Carlotta at all. She nodded at him. “All right,” she said more calmly than she felt, “I think that’s best. We have very different definitions of the word ‘loyal.’” Was that too much of a hint that I know about Carlotta? She elaborated to make sure that it wasn’t. “My definition doesn’t include helping you cheat.”

  Now she’d thrown down the gauntlet for sure. For a minute, he looked like he wanted to hit her. She almost wished that he would—she would give as well as she got in a fight, and there were witnesses who could tell that he threw the first blow. He looked daggers at her for a moment longer, and then he visibly gathered control of himself. “Come on, Claude. Let’s get away from this bitch.”

  Chapter 2

  Gerri tensed her neck muscles against the pull of the curling iron. She had done her own hair for years now, but today her mother had insisted upon doing it for her. She had told Gerri that she wanted it to be especially nice for Gerri’s graduation later today, but Gerri couldn’t help but think of it as marking the end of her childhood. After today she would be a college graduate, and, nominally, an adult. Olivia was holding on to the moment by doing Gerri’s hair one last time.

  Gerri welcomed her new status, of course, but she couldn’t help but be pessimistic about her job opportunities. So far, her apprehensions about finding a job teaching high school mathematics—especially the advanced courses that excited her—were proving justified. She had visited Mr. Harrison, the principal of the local black high school to state her interest in a teaching position, but he had not left her optimistic.

  “Gerri,” he had said, “I’d love to have you on my staff, but I don’t even know whether I’ll have a position myself. Integration is going to change everything. And I’m not calling the shots, as you can imagine. They may make me an assistant principal somewhere, or they may even put me back in a classroom. And, since they’re going to send all high school students to the white school, they’ll probably try to stick with the teaching staff that they have.”

  But now, on her graduation day, she didn’t want to think any discouraging thoughts. In just a few hours… She glanced at the clock on the wall—it was getting late. “Ma, are you sure that Daddy’s going to be back in time?”

  “Gerri, don’t you worry about him. After he lets the animals out, he’ll be back here directly. He wouldn’t miss your graduation for the world. But, believe it or not, the animals don’t care about your graduating. They still want to be fed.”

  Gerri vowed to keep quiet. It’s just nerves…I know he’ll be there.

  After a moment spent working in silence, Olivia picked up the thread again. “He’ll be on his best behavior. He’ll even shake Thurman’s hand if he has to.” She let a short laugh escape. “He might even smile, if I nudge him.”

  “Well, he will be spared that. Thurman and I are through. In fact, Thurman isn’t even marching. He got an incomplete in one of his courses—and had the nerve to blame it on me.”

  Olivia stopped and stared at Gerri in the mirror, trying to read her expression. “You’re not sorry, are you? I hope not, ‘cause I’m not…and your father…”

  “He’ll be delighted. I know. No, I’m not sorry. It turned out that he was seeing someone else.”

  “That no-good excuse for a man. How’d you find out?”

  “Well, that was kind of funny. You can thank Mrs. Blakely.” Gerri went on to tell about the overheard conversation. “I was sad for a while,” she concluded, “but I already had my doubts about him. And I found out in complete privacy, so I didn’t have to look the fool.”

  Gerri grunted as her mother gave an especially hard tug with the iron. She hid a smile, suspecting that her mother was taking out her anger on Gerri’s hair. Olivia’s extra force with the iron was the product of distraction, however, not anger. She wanted to consider her next words with care.

  “I’m happy that you found out that way,” she finally said, “but mostly, I’m just happy that you found out. Your father and
I were worried.”

  “Worried? Why?” Gerri didn’t want to sound like her adolescent sister Marilyn, but that seemed excessive.

  Olivia winced. She didn’t want to have this discussion today, of all days. How gently can I say this? “Gerri, you are very trusting. You made excuses for Thurman so many times. When he would disappear for a weekend…”

  “He was taking part in the protest marches.”

  “So he said. But remember the time they had a sit-in right here in town? Somehow, he couldn’t take part in that one—he had to go home, I think you said. Maybe he did. But there were several other times… After a while, a person gets a little suspicious.”

  Gerri considered. Was she really that naïve? “But you didn’t say anything before.” She watched her mother in the mirror as a faint smile appeared on Olivia’s face.

  “Wait until you’re a parent, girl. It’s hard, even with you—and you’re our good child.”

  Gerri wasn’t going to defend Marilyn, her middle sister, and she knew her youngest sister—ten year old Joetta—wasn’t at issue. “Rich wasn’t bad—not really.”

  “No, he wasn’t. There are worse places to be in the South, but this town still isn’t an easy place for a young black man to make a life. But, let’s not talk about him. Your father and I both felt the same way about Thurman; we just disagreed about what to tell you. Robert wanted to forbid you to see Thurman, and I was afraid that would just make you dig in your heels. Some things, you have to find out for yourself. All the same, that was partly why I asked you for that promise.”

  Gerri flushed with embarrassment to see it in that light. “I wouldn’t have…” She faltered to a stop. Would I?

  “Who knows, child?” Olivia mentally chastised herself. “I’ve got to quit calling you that,” she chuckled, and then the smile left her face and she continued. “But it isn’t just having sex. Accidents happen. I don’t want to see you having to go to some back alley for an abortion. And I certainly wouldn’t want to see you trapped in some bad, hasty marriage.”

  Gerri was surprised by Olivia’s uncharacteristic bluntness. This, more than Olivia’s remark about calling her ‘child,’ reminded Gerri that she was now an adult. She would have to think about this. To change the subject—a little—she brought up her other worry.

  “I hate to admit it, but he’s right about one thing. I’ve…” Belatedly, she realized that what she was about to say could be taken as a criticism of her parents, and as being resentful of her family’s limited means. Quickly, she rephrased. “I mean, I’ve always known that I wanted to teach high school. I’ve been so busy making sure that I could reach that goal that I never had any time to travel.” Never had the money, either… “I’ve never had a real adventure, and I wonder if I ever will.”

  Olivia put down the curling iron. “Gerri, your life is just beginning. Don’t act like it’s over. With all of the changes we’re seeing in this country, I hope you’ll have more opportunities than your father and I ever dreamed of. Watch for them, and don’t be afraid to embrace them. And above all, don’t listen to any of those things that Thurman said. He’s not worth your time—and color struck, to boot!”

  “I know, Ma. Don’t pay any attention to me—I’m just on edge today.”

  “That’s understandable, but this is your day. Make sure you enjoy it.”

  They were interrupted by Joetta. “Ma, Marilyn’s been in the bathroom for half an hour and she won’t let me in.”

  Olivia sighed. “Tell her to let you have the bathroom. And tell her that if she makes us late, she’ll be sorry.”

  After Joetta had left triumphantly, Olivia shook her head. “That’s the one that I worry about. Gerri, you’ll do well—you’ll find opportunities once you get over being nervous. Marilyn’s head is so hard. She’s almost done with her junior year in high school. She ought to have her head full of ideas and dreams, but all she can think of is getting a job in the candy factory, and maybe getting married.”

  Gerri didn’t know what to say. This was a well-known subject, and her parents had even enlisted Gerri to try to talk to Marilyn. Marilyn was not, however, impressed with Gerri as a role model.

  “Maybe,” Olivia continued, “if she sees you get a decent job—one that actually pays something—she’ll change her tune.”

  “I wish Rich were here. She listens to him—more than she does to me, at least.”

  “I wish he were here to see you march.”

  “So do I. I really miss him.” Richard, two years older than Gerri, had joined the army to try to get some training and, frankly, to get away from the limited prospects of their hometown. He got away, all right. He was stationed thousands of miles away at Fort Lewis in Washington State, and he hadn’t been home for over a year.

  “You can call him tonight, if you like.”

  Gerri’s spirits rose. “Cool! I’ll tell him about my graduation. I’ll try to make him feel like he saw it himself.”

  “Hello, ladies,” Robert Barton said as he came into the house. He kissed his wife on the back of her neck. “I bet y’all thought I’d forgotten all about the graduation.”

  Gerri protested, “No, I didn’t!” Olivia just chuckled.

  “Give me a few minutes. I’ll be changed and cleaned up so quickly, you won’t believe it.”

  “See that you are,” Olivia said. As he left, she had an idea. Could we do that? The more she thought, the more she liked it. Yes. I’ll talk to Robert about it today.

  ___

  Gerri’s feet hurt and she was tired, but she wore a grin that wouldn’t go away. Today had been her day to shine. The graduation ceremony ran long, but the speeches were inspiring. After the formal part was over, she exchanged congratulations with her classmates, as well as heartfelt promises to keep in touch. Her parents had given her a Kodak Instamatic camera as a present, and she had shot over thirty pictures. She had had her picture taken with Professor Kuznetsov, her favorite math teacher. How far she’d come: she remembered clearly walking into his class as a freshman and wondering if she’d ever be able to understand his Russian accent.

  She also had a picture taken with Professor Darnell, her favorite education teacher. Gerri had always valued her as a role model. She, too—years ago—had been a double major.

  There were a few students who threw Gerri accusing looks—they had apparently been fed Thurman’s tale of woe. She had only one actual angry encounter. She had just finished exchanging congratulations with a fellow graduate when she heard Nadine’s voice behind her.

  “I hope you’re proud of yourself for preventing Thurman’s graduation.”

  She looked around, trying not to cringe. Nadine was a fellow member of the choir who had made no secret of her attraction to Thurman. “I’m not happy about that.” Gerri said. “But it was his paper, not mine. You’re right, though. I should have put my foot down a long time ago.”

  Nadine sniffed. She wanted an argument, not conciliatory remarks. “I told him that he deserved better than you, and now he knows it.”

  Gerri bit her tongue to avoid saying He’s all yours. Nadine clearly didn’t know about Carlotta either. “I hope it works out for him,” she finally said.

  After Gerri returned home, her parents threw a party in her honor. She found herself pitching in with the preparations. Olivia tried to shoo her away, but it didn’t seem right to Gerri to be idle.

  Now, the party was over. Gerri sat in her bedroom taking off her shoes, and thinking of Richard. He was the only one she hadn’t talked to. She wondered if her mother remembered her promise. After she rested her feet, she decided, she would remind her. She lay back on the bed for a minute…

  She was awakened by a knock on her door. At her sleepy acknowledgment, her parents stepped into her room. Olivia sat on the bed and, as it was a small room, Robert remained standing.

  “Would you like to talk to Rich?” Olivia asked.

  “Yes!” Gerri looked at the clock and groaned. “Is it too late to call him? I fell
asleep.”

  “It’s not too late—remember the time difference. He’s waiting for your call.”

  “You’ve already talked to him? Why didn’t you wake me earlier? I…” …wanted to be the one to tell him about today. But she—in the words of that repulsive TV character, Archie Bunker—stifled herself. Of course, her parents were just as excited as she was, and they had every right to tell Rich about the graduation if they wanted to.

  Olivia had a knowing smile. “Don’t worry; you’ll be the one to tell him. We talked about something else.” She glanced at Robert—as if passing the baton.

  “Of course, long distance is expensive,” he said with a frown, “so you shouldn’t talk too long.”

  “I won’t. I promise.” How she wished that she could live a life where she didn’t have to worry constantly about money.

  Olivia glared at him. “Stop teasing her, Robert.”

  He smiled. “But you can tell him in person.”

  Gerri jumped up and squealed. “Rich is coming home? That’s great! When will he get here?” She wished that he could have made it back today, but she wasn’t about to spoil her parents’ surprise.

  “Nooo…” Robert said.

  Olivia was getting impatient with Robert’s drawing this out. “How would you like to go visit Rich for a few weeks?”

  Now Gerri was truly speechless. Her jaw dropped and she just stared.

  “It’d be an adventure,” Robert offered.

  “That’s so exciting.” Now, she could see the growth of this from her lament while getting her hair done. Suddenly, she was struck with guilt. “But it’s too expensive. And you need me to help on the farm.”

  “Don’t you worry about that. We’ll make out all right. Rich has a buddy who’s married and lives off-base. He and his wife are willing to let you stay there for three or four weeks. We’ll pay your way there and give you some spending money.”

  The enormity of the idea overwhelmed her, and she said the first thing that occurred to her. “I’ve never even been on an airplane before.”

  “Well,” Robert cautioned, “that’s a bit steep for our budget. But Rich told us about a bus company that has a special excursion fare: you can go anywhere you want to for ninety days for a fixed price—one that we can afford. It’ll be a long ride, but it’ll get you there.”